lola and bradley's story

Roman, the Ring Bearer

2008-10-22T01:17:00.001-04:00

We were only too happy to volunteer Roman as a ring bearer for Dean's Wedding. You can see him here in the bottom middle next to Laura, the flower girl.

Unfortunately, we didn't get any good pictures of Roman coming down the aisle. But we did get some good family photos.

Well, it was great seeing Roman in a tux. It was even more fun seeing him on the dance floor. He's quite a wild man when it comes to a fast beat. Here he surprises us by rolling on the floor to the music.

Some people tried to introduce Laura to another young boy. Roman suddenly detected someone encroaching his turf and ran over and took Laura in his arms. It surprised everyone. I quickly snapped a photo.

That was about the last time Roman was anywhere near Laura. Most of the time Laura and Kaylie were inseparable, like long lost sisters. Here they are dancing with the bride and groom.

Looks like we got some play dates to plan with Brian and Allie.

It was great to see all the folks from our hangout days. Many had kids now. Not that I did a lot of catching up. I was feeling rather shy. My mind was on the kids.

The Venetian (the reception hall) had great food. We were really impressed. Overall the wedding was great. We're especially grateful that Dean and Joanne asked Roman to be the Ring Bearer.

6 months pregnant and do-it yourself mani-pedi's

2008-10-10T23:58:00.009-04:00

So here I am 6 months pregnant with our 3rd child. No, this isn't Choy- sillies. It's Toni. So this third baby is really hard to carry. I don't know if it's my age or if it's just the pregnancy. It's probably both, I guess. When I was pregnant with Kaylie, I was so blissfully unaware of any fatigue, irritability or feeling of discomfort. Roman was a little different. I felt like I was pregnant for years. I just wanted him out asap. Maybe it's because I got pregnant with Roman 6 months after giving birth to Kaylie. Now with Roman at 3 and 1/2 years old, I feel happy to be pregnant again. It's probably also due to the fact that we've longed for our third baby for over a year and a half now. We also lost a baby between Roman and this one. I feel very happy and blessed.

Well, fast forward 6 months into my 3rd pregnancy with a dilemma. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow and realized I forgot to do my nails. Ugh, I was so busy AND way tired that I completely forgot to do my nails. I wouldn't really mind but when your stomach is sticking out WAYYY past your boobs, you'll try to do anything to feel even remotely sexy or womanly. I thought about waking up early and getting it done at the salon but thought it would be a bad idea since the wedding starts at 11 in the morning. Since Roman is going to be ring bearer, we have to get there early too. That would mean I would have to get up by 6, get ready, then go to the nail salon and waste an hour there then come home and wake up the family and get the kids ready. Hmmmm..... nah, it's not gonna happen. Well, it could, only we'd probably miss the wedding altogether. So I think, oh, husband can help. I'm sure he's painted before... It's not rocket science. He's a brilliant man. Let's see. I'll do my nails and he'll do my toes. No problem... Right? Wrong!!

So, I ask my husband, "darling, can you paint my toes, I can't seem to reach them?" He says sure. I ask him "have you ever painted before?" to which he answers, "you mean water colors?" Huh?! To which I say... rather yell, "NO, painted walls!!" He says yes but I used a roller. "Is that the same he asks?" To which I just look at him dumbfounded without a response. Well, at this point, it's either naked toe nails or painted toe nails that look uneven with the colors bleeding onto my skin. I decide painted ugly toe nails are better than nothing.

We position ourselves. Him on the floor, me on a chair leaning back with my foot on one of our children's ottomans. I show him how to do it by doing one pinky toe. Oof, that was hard. I never realized how hard it is to reach forward with a big belly. How do big people paint their toes?

So he starts but before he's able to put the first coat of paint, his positioning is all wrong. He's about to brush from the tip to the cuticle. Hello?! How's he going to paint my toes like that? then his hand and arm is in the air. Hello?! What is he thinking? That's not stable. He'll paint to my toe knuckles like that... I finally realized I'll have to just relax and take what he gives me. Of course, after doing nail #2, he's got nailpolish allllll over my cuticle. I mean I looked like I had toe nails as long as my fingernails. It was not looking pretty. So with remover at hand he takes off the excess and continues. In the end, some toe nails came out a light shade of red while others were the color of blood. It was a little streaky but I figure no one's going to look that close at toes... or do they? Oh wells, I'll just sit a lot and tuck my feet under me. I'll give the old pregnant excuse, I'm just tired.

So, here it is. Tada!! With shoes, you won't even notice that a man who's never painted toes before did my pedicure. :) I realize beggers can't be choosers and I should be grateful that my husband was even willing to give me a pedicure. I love you baby. kiss, kiss.

Signs of Intelligent Life

2008-08-27T02:51:00.001-04:00

In the midst of the random distribution of toys and clothing and other knick knacks that litter my house, I find an occasional collection that is so un-random so ordered that it may very well indicate signs of intelligent life here in my home! One day while I was tidying up the kids room, I came across the unusual order in the photo below.

I could tell this was the handiwork of my daughter Kaylie. Roman is rarely interested in ordering anything.

Kaylie however seems to be attracted to symmetrical constructions and order. Books don't self-organize in lines or squares. ... except in my house.

She's also fascinated with nail polish but that's another story ...

So whenever I see something in my home that could not have put itself together, I feel the need to record Kaylie's latest project. I discovered this little gem one morning.

It's almost as if Kaylie is trying to say something to me. I mean why build this and leave it around? Perhaps she was trying to assess the longevity of such an unstable structure. As you can imagine her Lego skills have improved dramatically of late.

When I saw this, I wondered, "when did this happen?" When did she develop a taste for symmetry and color and shape. This piece is much more complex than anything she'd put together before. I know some of you are thinking like, "dude, it's not that big a deal." But for me, this is a delightful surprise. I wasn't expecting any sort of artistry or expression to show itself until they were much older.

I think we have ourselves an artist.

The New Habits

2008-08-05T21:52:00.001-04:00

Last night at around 2am, I was really hungry. Somehow I managed to avoid the ice cream, the chips, the pizza rolls, and all the other junk food abounding in our place, and ate an apple. I rarely eat apples or any fruit for that matter. Fruit tends to be messy and sour. So I'm not fond of them. But for midnight snacks, those are the only things I've allowed myself to eat.

It was tough. I ate it and surprisingly it filled me up enough to go to sleep.

Stairs

I've also committed myself to taking the stairs up and down to our 4th floor apt when I'm not with the kids. Sometimes, when I get off the bus, after having just woken up, I think to myself, "It's ok to take the elevator this time. You're tired." Another voice chimes in, "keep with the program." and I end up taking the stairs. I'm breathing heavy as I arrive home.

In college, I used to live in a 3rd floor walkup. I don't recall that it was ever a challenge to go up those stairs. It never occurred to me that it was difficult. But these 4 flights of stairs seem so much longer because I have the option of taking an elevator. That option seems to make the stair climbing all the more arduous.

Cool Things

The children are now an official part of my exercise regimen. Every night before bedtime, we do something we call "cool things." We do a number of different things but the toughest workout comes from throwing them around. They get on the bed and jump at me. I catch them and throw them up and catch them three times. Then, it's the other child's turn. We do this until my arms aren't strong enough to catch them safely. It's about 10 sets of three throws each. I can feel that Kaylie is heavier than Roman.

The kids love it and remind me every night. Better than a bowflex.

Big Dinner

Eliminating breakfast has been surprisingly easy. I don't really miss it. I've been trying to listen to the advice of experts who recommend big breakfasts and smaller lunches and dinners. In retrospect, that doesn't make sense for me. The home-cooked dinner is the thing I really want to eat. Reducing dinner is silly. So I eat dinner comfortably, light lunch and no breakfast. Works for me.

Numbers

I would guess that I've reduced my average daily calorie intake by say 100 calories, and increased my average daily calories burned by about 100 calories. I can't really measure the increase in muscle mass but I can do 40 pushups and 40 crunches which is at least double what I could do before. My weight keeps going down one pound at a time. I'm at 152 now.

My neck is still too thick and my belly is still too big. So I've got a ways to go. I can feel myself getting addicted to this fitness thing. I'm beginning to find ways that it can serve other mental and spiritual needs. wierd.

One Chin

2008-07-21T22:04:00.001-04:00

I've been trying to get in shape lately. No drastic dieting thing or weight training program. My recent interest in life insurance has been a catalyst to get me started. I'm not particularly interested in losing weight or becoming a body builder. I hear aimless exercising is completely ineffective. So then, what is my goal you ask? One chin.

Ever since around my wedding day, I've had this extra chin. I look down and my neck bunches up under my chin, creating my second chin. It used to be a full double. But now it's only like a half chin. So to be accurate, I've got a 1.5 chin but that doesn't roll off the tongue. And nobody really graciously credits you that 0.5 chin anyways. I mean beyond 1+ it's just a double chin. I mean no one talks about triple chins even though I've seen 'em.

Other bad signs: I can pinch like two inches on my midriff. My chest is beginning to qualify as a bosom. At least I can still see my toes.

Roadmap

So how does one go about reducing chin? Well, I've been asking around and looking for some ideas to find some techniques that will work for me. I've no intention of giving up rice. And with a wife and kids, going to the gym or joining a sports team is not an option. I gotta find little practical changes that will move me ever closer to one chin.

Eat Less

I talked to my friend Eugene who's been doing pretty well with his diet. His secret has been - surprise - eat less. He sez you get really hungry for a while but you get used to it. Eat like half your calories for breakfast. light lunch. fruit in the middle of the afternoon. tiny dinner. Don't let the blood sugar drop too low. eat fruit.

My adaptation is a lot less healthy but a lot more do-able.

No breakfast. Coffee ok.
Whatever for lunch.
small dinner.
Most important don't eat everyone's leftovers. I've built this habit of eating whatever the rest of the family does not finish. That includes my wife, and my two kids, all of whom have a bad habit of not finishing.
No midnight snacks. Fruit ok.
One soda. Water and juice ok.

Muscle

My brother, Jay, who's a fitness trainer told me that without muscle, it's hard to get rid of fat. If muscle is near fat, it's more likely to burn it for energy. Good stuff. Worse if your body thinks its starving it will eat up your muscle to save your fat.

So my goal is to do 50 pushups and 50 crunches easily. So far I can't do much more than 25 pushups and 30 crunches. And that's barely. It'll be a while.

Games with the kids that increase strength. The kids love it. As I get stronger, I can last longer.

Maybe I need to do some neck exercises.

Inconvenience

I enjoy a lot more convenience now compared to my younger years. Even if I don't mind the extra work I need to accommodate my high heel wife and my short legged kids. I am beginning to get addicted to a life of comfort and my lazy ass enjoys it quite a bit. But whenever I get a chance I need to avoid those conveniences to add just a little bit more calorie burning to my diet.

Take the stairs to and from my 4th floor apt. Just like living in a fourth floor walkup.
Park far away.
Don't use the automatic doors on my minivan.
Walk to pizza or burger king.
Take the kids to the swimming pool or the playground whenever I get the chance.

We'll see if this goes anywhere or whether this fizzles after the insurance thing goes through.

Loving Yourself Better

2008-04-29T02:06:00.001-04:00

I've come up with this theory that loving myself and loving my kids are very much one in the same thing. Or it supposed to be anyways. Most of the time I think of myself as the father and they are the kids so they get special treatment because they're, well, kids. But I'm not so certain they see such a big distinction.

Perhaps they're right. I mean I was once their age. That child that I used to be is still there somewhere in there. I suspect that the way I care for them, discipline them, love them is lot like the way I deal with myself. I'm not certain but it sounds right.

I'd like to think that I'm easier on them and harder on myself. But I cut myself a lot of slack and I'm quick to set boundaries on the kids. So maybe it aint so cut and dry.

Toni and I have been talking about what we want for our kids. We say trite phrases like "all they can be" and "what God created them for." We talk about how we gotta identify talent and give them support.

But if we think about loving them as something not too far from loving ourselves, then we as parents would do well to "be all we can," and pursue "what God created us for." We need to identify our talents and support ourselves to ensure that God's gifts have not been squandered.

My fabulous wife Toni has a lot of gifts that are probably not being utilized to the fullest extent. She loves being a mother and a business owner. But I'm sure she has more to offer this world. I'm not sure what and she doesn't know either. But we think there's more.

Kaylie, my daughter, will be modeling her life after her mom's. She already tries. I don't want her to grow thinking that she can be all that she can until she gets married and/or has kids.

Same for me. I've gotta learn more about what God's plan for me has been. In this way, we as parents will love our children even better. Not by spending every moment watching our kids for signs of genius or superpowers, but by living the very things we'd like to preach to our children. They have been watching us more closely than we will ever be able to watch them. So we won't have to watch them.

Well, it's just theory right now. I'll let you know how it goes in say twenty years or so.

Before and After

2008-04-26T00:29:00.001-04:00

I promised to show some pictures after the renovation. So without further ado ...

Here's the dining area before. You can see that the entrance to the kitchen was narrow. Chandelier was really old.

Here is the same area after the renovation at night time.

Wider entrance to the kitchen really makes a difference.

Here's a before and after look at the living area. The look of the living area was a bit dated too. Nothing a little paint and new furniture couldn't fix.

This was the kitchen, apparently, in the original 1970's style. Note the clumsy hanging-ceiling-lighting apparatus.

New cabinets and new clutter.

We had to redo the bathrooms too. Here's the old sink in the main bath compared to the new one.

It's hard to get a good photo of a bathroom. Well this could go on and on. I think you get the idea.

I also mentioned the playroom. But they also have a great playground too.

Mommy takes them out to the playground when the weather is nice.

The building also has a playroom which the kids absolutely love.

Well, I like it too. I can usually get a bit of reading done while they have their fun time.

Home, for Now Anyways

2008-03-27T00:20:00.001-04:00

We live in this tiny apt in the middle of nowhere. here's a satellite pic.

My wife stressed out over all the renovations to make this place look just right. The contractor probably stressed out too. This is what it used to look like. Unfortunately I haven't got a good picture of it after ... I'll have to work on that.

My kids,

They prefer our old place in queens,

They still think of that place as "my home" when they see it in pictures and video.

AsianAve.com

by: choy

But I know they like it here in our new apt. They love the play room. They enjoy the extra space. So do I. so do I.

contractor hell

2007-08-22T00:31:00.001-04:00

So, our renovations are almost done. we have 3 more days until the deadline and I don't think he's going to make it. I'm worried. Very, very worried. I've pressed Mr. Kim to get it done. He says it'll probably be done. Key word probably. I thought all is ok until I got a phone call from our flooring guy. He says that he's going to sue us if we don't figure out how our contractor is going to finish paying off a balance of $8,000. He says he can place a lien on our apt if he doesn't get his money. Ugh. Yet another snag. I swear I'm going to get high blood pressure this year.

It's been a hard year. 2007 did not treat me well. I've been stressed about the store and all our expenses and this contract work that is taking a lot longer than I had anticipated.

Another shock is Br. Thomas. He called saying he had a tumor growing on his lung. So, it's been a bad few months. I know it's because I'm drifting farther and farther from God and not thinking about him in all I do. I've been very distracted lately. Now, of course since I need his help, I've been in communication.

I've got to go. I've got a long day ahead of me dealing with these contractors. I'll fill you in on all the drama.

friday

2007-08-03T20:20:00.000-04:00

Finally, I've started a blog. I've always wanted to make one but never got around to it. I'm doing this for my children. They can grow up and see the struggles and milestones of their days through my eyes. Actually, maybe I'm doing it for me. When I'm old and gray, I can look back and think wonderful thoughts and reminisce the days of my young, beautiful children. Gosh, I'm already tearing up just thinking about that. I guess every so often, I'll have to mention me and my husband. That'll be pretty sad if I've omitted us in the mix. After all, without mommy and daddy, Lola and Bradley would not be here. :)

Thank goodness it's Friday. I always enjoy Fridays. It's the day before family day. It's the day all the Rims are together.... usually doing nothing, but at least we're together. It's bath night. The kids have been working up a nice sweat. Feels good, I'm' sure.

Only 26 more days until we move into our new home. I can't wait. I just hope everything is ready on time. We've been anticipating this move for a long time. I hope it comes out nice. I guess we'll see.